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Blast from the Past

Who doesn’t like a good April Fools’ joke? I love them and have pulled a few good ones in my day.

One of my favorites was the “Smoking Policy” memo I sent to a coworker, but had addressed it to all smokers in the company. It looked official sitting there in his mailbox. The memo stated that too many employees were taking unscheduled breaks to smoke, therefore a new policy had been created to remedy the situation.

Each smoker would be allowed one smoke break in the morning and one in the afternoon. And in order to enforce it, there would be log books that each smoker had to fill out when they left for a smoke break, and again when they came back in. In addition, since we had two separate buildings, if an employee had a meeting in the other facility and had a cigarette on the way, that counted as a break.

I knew he bought it when I saw him with the boss talking about it. He muttered to me that he thought it was a tad over the top.

My other favorite was the “Intern Blazer Program.” Again, I sent what looked like an official memo from HR stating that all company interns would be required to wear a logoed blazer that easily identified them to others making it more efficient to find an intern when needed. “Don’t worry, we’ll pay for the dry cleaning and you can wear the blazer with jeans.”

Well, this is no joke – enjoy this month’s Blast with fun stuff from Aprils gone by.

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The SlipStik (as seen in the cowboy’s mouth) was a “fun” and “truly unique specialty premium.” Mix up your favorite “stiff drink” and you were good to go. “Flip it to sip it. Pop it in to close and carry.” Now there’s a slogan. From 1982

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The telescoping pencil tie bar had it all. Who thought of this stuff? “Gentlemen, we need a tie bar that is also a pencil, oh, and if we can make it telescoping, well, that’d be real keen.” From 1968

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So, the Little David was a pen, and the ad said everyone used them. Really, this drawing proves it – grocery-shopping moms, baseball players and scientists (both evil and not evil) used them. In addition, businessmen holding meetings used them, as did pipe-smoking handymen who stared off into the distance while standing in their workshops. From 1968

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Love the headline: “These men are paid killers.” … And they both drive station wagons, so when they say they’re gonna take you for a ride, you better be sure that their kids are going to be in there… probably in that backwards- facing seat in the back. From 1971

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This is Bill, Eddie and Mollie. I’m sure Mollie was a very nice woman, but, man oh man, why did the drawing of her look so mannish? Seriously, aside from the lady parts, her face looks like one of the guys’. From 1977